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Poetry of Addictions

Feeling you have nothing

to lose because

you feel

you have

nothing

and

anything could be

better

than the nothingness

you feel

too bad to be real

realize that

when loving yourself

conflicts

with wanting to be

loved

or feeling lovely

you sit in seats

and take rides

partying with strangers

who

only know you

as well as you know yourself

in sickness

not in health

wealth is not inside your mind

but your soul

it cannot be fabricated

nor generated

by the perfect thought

or bought and sold

wealth is not bold

it’s calm

indifference feeling

secure

when nothing around you is

not trying to make the outside in

but putting the inside out

without

question

or

performance

wanting to be loved

cannot be

in conflict with

loving yourself

Crying is Passion

Crying is

passion

for life

Feeling is through tears

not skin

Feel the pain

the joy

the loss

the happiness

within

Crying is not a sin

Embrace yours

your feelings

just cause

you want to

just cause

you can

let yourself

go

feel free

grieve

remember

explore from the inside

out

don’t forget to shout

go all out

crying

is

passion

for

life

Iron Butterfly

Ironically

eloquence

comes in

your final

hours, days, months, years

of desperation

after you’ve already asked politely

then questioned confusedly

erupted in anger

fallen silent

and erupted again

began to hate everyone

for a day

and everything

for an hour

lies seemed like the

only flowers that bloomed

after meaningfully meaningless discussions

which you wonder

really existed

in your mind

is where it all began

you went left

instead of right

you forgot you had to fight

things seemed easy for a while

you lingered too long on a smile

and now

ironically eloquence

comes in

your flickering final

glimpses of sanity

you know you’re not going to win

unless

you fly

Resistance-in-love

images

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m here

doesn’t mean

be mean

don’t say what you mean

lean into your dislike

of my fight

let me know what’s wrong

what’s right

I’m here

doesn’t mean

don’t say

how you feel

forget to be real

imagine you’re in a soap opera

fantasy

you’ve seen on TV

you forgot you were free

you have choice

your voice

is a spiritual instrument

that provides nourishment

or disease

I’m here

doesn’t mean

look down on me

tell me my lipstick is missing

when I never bought it

or bought into it

I feel fine

sometimes I drink wine

sometimes I hang with this

or that one

I’m not ashamed to have fun

tell me my clothes are not right

tell me my shoes are too bright

when you put up a fight

that’s how I know I’m alright

Family Is

Family is indescribable
often unknown
underrated
and overdeveloped
in theory
connections made
and very unmade
hiding behind closed doors
sneaking down hallways
marrying on paper
not in public
Family is familiar
often unmistakable
blunt force trauma
upon door openings
on first sight
regrettable
and unforgettable
or
loving
or fighting
or both
Family is serious
Family is invisible
and visible
and always
real